How did I fall in love with you!
by Babywolfstar
Summary: Blackwater songfiction. Jacob thinking about his feelings for Leah.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER FOR MY STORY : I OWN NOTHING. I HAVE NO RIGHTS OVER CHARACTERS OR THE SONG "HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU" BY BSB.**

**Beta-ed by Leah the Lone Wolf Girl. **

****************************************************************************

**JPOV**

_Remember when  
We never needed each other  
The best of friends  
Like sister and brother  
We understood  
We'd never be  
Alone_

I'm don't even know why am I thinking of Leah. We have become closer and  
closer. She is my second in command after all or my Beta as Bella called me  
when we were in Sam's pack. And it's just that now that she is no longer under  
Sam, she is different. I see in her now the old Leah. The girl  
with the beautiful smile. The girl that every kid wanted and couldn't have  
because of Sam. He was so lucky to have her. She was gorgeous. We used to  
play together when we were little. Of course she came to my house to play  
with my sisters, but when she was at my house I didn't care much playing  
with Barbie ( as long as I was Ken) just to play with Leah. ( yes I had a  
crush on her like every other boy in the Rez)

_Those days are gone  
Now I want you so much  
The night is long  
And I need your touch  
Don't know what to say  
Never meant to feel this way  
Don't wanna be alone tonight  
_

But after Sam left her she became bitter and turn into the wicked witch  
bitter harpy Leah. I didn't understand it then but now that we had this  
unusual friendship I can see that it was just a mask to hide all of her pain.  
After all, her first and only love left her for her cousin and best friend. Not  
only that she became the freak she wolf the only girl shape shifter and to top  
it all her dad pass away. All of these things happened back to back. She  
didn't have time to recover from one pain to get hit by the other. And then  
with the mind link of the wolves she had to see Sam's mind. His love for  
Emily. His guilt and pity for Leah. And I just realize that I can relate with  
her. When I see Bella with her bloodsucker all I wanted was to turn around and  
run away and Leah had to see what Sam did to her every day in his mind. His  
Emily. I felt sad, not because of all that she went through, but the way the whole pack treated her. She was just hurting and she  
didn't want to look weak so she put on the show of the "biggest  
**". All I wanted back then was for her to disappear so she can stop  
making us miserable and now I can't see myself going one day without my  
beta. I can't see myself without Leah, My Leah.

_What can I do to make you mine  
Falling so hard, so fast this time  
What did I say, what did you do  
How did I fall in love with you  
_

I keep thinking and thinking how to approach her to tell her how I feel. Its  
very hard to block my thoughts when I'm in my wolf form. Because Even if  
she feel something for me (and I think she does) the fear of me imprinting  
some random girl will always be there. I can't put her through all that pain  
again. She deserved better she deserves the world. But just the thought of her  
with some other guy make my heart ache. Why is my life so complicated? The  
first girl I fell in love with didn't love me enough to stay with me and now  
that I feel this new a fresh love for Leah, the fear of hurting her is  
keeping me away from her.

_I hear your voice  
And I start to tremble  
Brings back the child  
That I resemble  
I cannot pretend  
That we can still be friends  
Don't wanna be alone tonight  
_

I have tried to avoid her as much as I can when She phased to wolf I just  
give her instructions and phased quickly to human form because I just can't  
let her see my thoughts. It's so hard to avoid her cause her voice is so sweet.  
And when she smiles its like the sun is shining just for me. I can see  
us as kids playing in my backyard with Barbie and Ken. I know it's  
cheesy but I can't help it. I wish I can hold her close in my arms. I wish I  
could hold her all through the night.

_I wanna say this right  
And it has to be tonight  
Just need you to know  
I don't wanna live this lie  
I don't wanna say goodbye  
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life  
_

I need to see her. I can't avoid these feelings any longer. I need to talk to  
her. I need to kiss her. I need to hold her. I need my Leah. I know she feels  
something. I need to be brave and let this fear go away. What's the worse  
that can happen? Knowing Leah the worse will be for her to punch me scream  
at me or even try to kill me (yeah that's my Leah). But what if she loves me  
too? I really don't know what I am waiting for. She could be with me in my  
arms tonight. I could be holding her and kissing those sweet, soft lips. I could be  
caressing her face. This is it. I'm not going to let another day pass by. I  
love her and she needs to know. She needs to know that I want to be with her forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER FOR MY STORY : I OWN NOTHING. I HAVE NO RIGHTS OVER CHARACTERS OR THE SONG " BROKEN BY LIFEHOUSE****"**

**A/N: Hello everyone Thanks for the reviews. This was originally a one shot songfiction but **_**Jacobleah **_**wanted to know what did she say, so this one goes out to you Jacobleah. Thanks for all the reviews. The story will be 3 chapters. I'm not proud of this chapter but I still hope you guys like it. **

**LPOV**

_The broken clock is a comfort  
It helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can start tomorrow  
From stealing all my time_

I can't sleep "how I hate this" I tried to shut down my mind and my head but its useless because I can't stop thinking about him. His eyes, his lips, his skin, and his body (ummm yummy). "Come on Leah you need to stop this he is just Jacob" What is so different about him now? Why when I look at him I feel like butterflies in my stomach? (Well they feel more like eagles than butterflies). Maybe this is just a bad dream and in the morning everything will be back to the same old shit that I call life.

_And I am here still waiting  
Though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best  
Like you've already figured out_

But no. It's not a bad dream. It's my reality. How does this happen? How you find a way inside of me? I'm so messed up but you already know that. I promised myself that I will never fall in love again with a werewolves or shape shifter whatever you want to call it because of the damn imprinting. But I must have a hardhead because here I am once again with my heart aching for one of them.

_I'm falling apart  
I'm barley breathing  
With a broken heart  
That's still beating_

_In the pain  
There is healing  
In your name  
I find meaning_

_  
_I'm so broken but you were broken too. Maybe that's why I fell in love with you because in your pain you still seem to shine. Your words are like a medicine for my wounds and your voice is like music that goes straight to my heart. Even though my heart is in pieces those little pieces still alive. And little by little they are sticking back together because of you. My hearts now beats for you Jacob Black.

_So I'm holding on  
I'm holding on  
I'm holding on  
I'm barely holding on to you_

I don't know how you feel about me. But I'm pretty sure you feel something for me too. I see the way you look at me. I can hear your heart speeding up when we are close together. "Oh fuck I just realized that you can hear my heart too"

_The broken locks were a warning  
You got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded  
I'm an open book instead_

I still don't know how I fell in love with you because I spend a lot of time building up this wall around my heart. I thought those walls were strong as steel but you found a way inside. I tried to fight this feeling with all my strength but there is no use you are already in there. And because of you I can smile again. Because of you I see the light again. The bitter harpy is semi-sweet now. _  
_  
_And I still see your reflection  
Inside of my eyes  
That are looking for purpose  
They're still looking for life_

When I close my eyes all I see is you My alpha. Your eyes are so deep that I can spend the rest of my life just getting lost in them. I think it's just the way you handle your pain so different than me, I'm very grateful that you chose the higher way and didn't turn bitter like me. I don't deserve you. You are too good for me. Because even in your darkest hour you still seem to shine. You never give up. You never quit life.

_I'm falling apart  
I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart  
That's still beating_

In the pain  
(In the pain)  
Is there healing?  
In your name  
(In your name)  
I find meaning

Do you think that I can get better? Can you see just a little bit of hope in me? Can you heal me Jacob? Or you will just kill was left of me? It's so hard to breath now. I will just die if my hearts gets broken once again. I can't do this. Not again. "What am I thinking? I am not a masochistic bitch. So you need to get out of my head Black"_  
_  
_So I'm holding on  
(I'm still holding)  
I'm holding on  
(I'm still holding)  
I'm holding on  
(I'm still holding)  
I'm barely holding on to you_

It's just a little too late. I can't stop thinking of you. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. I don't even remember when the last time I thought of Sam was and that is wonderful. I owe you that. And just because of that I will follow you all the way to China its that's where you want to go. Well that's just an excuse because I will follow you anywhere just to be close to you.

_I'm hanging on another day  
Just to see what you will throw my way  
And I'm hanging on to the words you say  
You said that I will be okay_

For the first time I love being a wolf. Just so I can run patrols with you. Just to be inside your head. You are not that little kid that used to annoy me anymore. You had turn into a wonderful leader. You are a great men. "and very hot too by the way" Your words make my days brighter. You gave me hope. You gave me faith.

_Broken lights on the freeway  
Left me here alone  
I may have lost my way now  
I haven't forgotten my way home  
_

While looking at my reflection in the mirror I can see the old Leah. The happy, cheerful, friendly, popular even pretty Leah. At was in hell for so long that I even forgot how I used to be. But your light show me the way back. And now I'm on my way back to be me. I'm on my way back Home. I have come to a conclusion. I surrender my heart, body and soul. I love you My Alpha. I love you Jacob Black._  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. I HAVE NO RIGHTS OVER CHARACTERS OR THE SONG "LOST" BY FAITH HILL**

**Beta-ed by KEI KAT JONES (You are awesome)**

_**Is it obvious to you  
When you walk into a room  
Your face is all I see  
And my heart races so fast  
I never knew a rush to feel like that  
Every time you're touching me **_

_**I never did believe in anything  
I couldn't hold between my fingers  
But the way you make me feel  
It's just so real the way it lingers**_

**LPOV**

No way in hell. What the fuck is Jacob doing knocking on my window at 2:30 in the morning? But there is something in his face. I can't pinpoint the emotion in his expression. Is he concerned? Confused? I don't know but he looks nervous. This is not going to be good. Different scenarios are already running through my head. Maybe the Italian bloodsuckers are back, or a secret unit of the government found out about the werewolves and they are taking us to Area 51 to do some experiment. Maybe…

"Leah I need to talk to you but I need you to listen and please don't say anything until I'm done."

Yeah, definitely bad. "What is it Black? And this better be good because its 2:30 in the morning and I was just finally falling asleep when you, my dearest Alpha, knocked on my window."

"I don't even know how to say this or where to start but…"

Honestly I was getting impatient already so I decided to give him a little help. "The beginning is a good place to start."

"Leah, please, no sarcasm this is really important ok. I've been thinking…"

"Oh the sky is falling my dear alpha was thinking. That must be a first. You finally discovered how to get your brain to function? Hooray!

"Leah, please. Can I continue now?"

"Sure sure"

"So I was thinking that everything happens for a reason, you know like Sam and Bella? We just don't always know why at the time and sometimes never learn either. That's the part that sucks but that's life and if it wasn't for that experience…"

Ok Bella? Sam? This is going to be a disaster because nothing good can come of those two. And honestly I don't want to discuss Jacob's feeling for some leech lover or any other random girl. I'm not in the mood for more tragedy. "Jacob we are friends. I'm your second-in-command but I don't hold a psychology or psychiatric degree under my belt and honestly I'm already mentally exhausted with my own stuff to add some more drama to it."

"Can you please shut your trap for a few minutes this is not just about me – it's about you too."

About me? Did he just tell me to 'shut my trap'? What the hell is wrong with him? Ok, just swallow your pride for a second Leah and let him talk the sooner he talks the sooner you can go back to sleep. "Sorry, I will try my best but you better get the show going or I will just fall asleep here."

Jacob rolls his eyes but then he continues on with the speech. "I will get straight to the point but remember that this is the way you want it I was planning this to go a lot differently."

"Yeah whatever Jacob just spill the beans."

_**I get lost inside your stare  
Lost when you're not there  
And everything I have  
Doesn't mean a thing if it's without you  
If it's a dream  
Don't wake me up  
I'll scream if this isn't love  
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you  
I wanna stay lost forever  
I wanna stay lost forever.. with you.**_

"I was thinking of a conversation I had with Quil a while ago. I asked him why he didn't date other girls, you know, until Claire grows up. And he told me that he didn't see anyone that way. That he didn't notice girls anymore because he didn't see their faces."

"Do you want me to seduce him or something Black? I'm kind of lost here. What is so important about Quil dating girls?"

"Listen Clearwater if you just wait all of this will make sense but if you keep interrupting I will never get to the point. You need to understand that what I'm about to say it's not easy. It may sound crazy and I don't even know if telling you this will ruin our friendship and our relationship as Alpha and Beta. But my conversation with Quil is important because at the time I was so caught up in the Bella drama that I didn't see any other girl either - I didn't see their faces."

"I think that you need to get your eyes checked, Jake. Do you want me to go with you to the eye doctor?"

"Just forget it, Leah. You can't even be serious for once in your life."

"I'm sorry, Jacob. But please just get to the point. I will try my best to keep my mouth shut."

"The thing about that conversation Leah is that now I can _see_. I see _YOU,_ Clearwater. I…me… I… wanted, that is…I…Uff...ok. Leah you are in my thoughts from morning till night and even in my dreams. I love your cute smile, your magical eyes, and the sound of your voice. I love your gentle touch and I love the warmth I feel when I'm by your side. I can't stop thinking about you when we are apart. You make me feel complete. I don't even know how or when this happened but it really feels like you were always there in my heart and in my life. It's like we belong to each other. You're always the one I turn to with my joy, my tears, my hopes, and my dreams. I need you. You are my rock and my support. I need you in more ways that you can ever imagine."

Am I dreaming? I didn't know I could have such vivid dreams. Did Jacob just tell me that he has feelings? Feelings for me? The bitter harpy? Definitely a dream. But shit he is staring at me and I can feel the heat coming from his body. OMG this is real. Shit Leah talk he is looking at you say something.

_**No this feelin' doesn't end  
It's with me everywhere I am  
Hope it never goes away  
It's like defying gravity  
I'm losing all control in bein' free  
And I always wanna stay**_

I never thought that I'd let go long enough  
To fall for someone deeply  
Who had the power to erase my fears  
And find me so completely

Oh my Jacob so handsome looking at me with those gorgeous eyes and I'm here just speechless almost drooling looking at him. What are you waiting for Leah? Just tell him that you are always thinking of him too. That you love his eyes, his, smile, you sure like his body. But I can't this stupid fear is ruling me. Fear to lose again. Fear to be second best again. No I can't.

"Leah, please, say something. I don't care what it is just say anything."

"This wasn't what I was expecting and to be honest, Jacob, I just don't know what to say. I mean, wow, I don't know?" Ok Leah pull yourself together that didn't make much sense. What is he doing? He's getting closer and I just can't think. Please don't touch me. I don't know if I will have the self-control to fight the urge of jumping him and kissing him until we can't breathe. What is he going to do? Oh my! His hand is coming up to my face, I can hear my heart speeding up and I can feel the heat rushing up to my face. He put his hand on my chin lifting my face so he can look at me straight in the eyes. I'm losing my control I just want to kiss him but I need to think this through – it's not that easy.

"Leah I know that there have been lots of tears in our past but think of this as an opportunity life is giving us to rewrite our history. Our hearts has been torn, cut and bruised. But this can be our new beginning."

"Jacob I… I don't know... I… What do you want me to say? That I want to patrol all the time because I know I will be with you? That I can't sleep at night because all I can think about is you? That when you look at me my heart reach speeds higher than a car in the Indy 500? I'm going to be honest with you. You make me feel special and because of you I feel free again. Free to be me. Free of Sam and Sam's pity. I'm very grateful of the opportunity you gave me, Jake. I have seen the way you look at me and it feels good. I have feelings for you too but _this_ between you and me is impossible. You deserve much better than me. I'm the bitter harpy. I'm the freak – the only girl wolf. I can't have a family. You see this will never ever work. Jacob when my dad died I vowed to never give my heart so willingly to another living person; especially those with werewolf genes because of IMPRINTING. What if," He didn't let me finish.

"Leah I will never imprint."

"And how do you know that? Just because you said so or did Alice gave you some lessons on future telling?" I'm losing my cool now.

"Not because I say so. And you know that Alice can't see us. I am the true Alpha of this pack and I'm not just talking of our Renegade pack. I am the true Alpha of the La Push pack." He was smiling now and I was getting angry. Is he making fun of me or what?

"SO just because the True Alpha of La push says that he is not going to imprint it's going to happened. Just like that? Guess what life's a bitch and she hates me. So it doesn't matter what you say, my dear Jacob, life always find a way to screw me."

"Leah, the true Alpha of a pack gets to choose his mate, no magical imprinting crap will ever get in the way. I'm the only one that is free to choose his destiny, to pick who I want. And truth be told I want you and only you my beta."

He's got a point. I remember doing some research on wolves when all of this craziness started and I remember reading that the Alpha of the pack chooses his alpha female. But according to the mind reading leech we are shape shifters and not the so called 'Children of the Moon'. So how much are we like real wolves? I'm so confused. But Jacob is getting closer and closer, now he's caressing my face and I just lose it. My excuses are slipping out. What if this is meant to be? What if it works? Will I let him go just because I'm afraid to lose again? I'm not afraid of anything. But I don't think that my heart will survive another break. "Jake I'm afraid; afraid to lose again. I'm afraid of getting my heart broken again just when I am finally healing." He is running his hand through my hair and it feels so good.

"Leah the love you so desperately seek is here in my arms." He hugs me and I can't deny my feelings any longer. I just give in wanting him to hold me tighter. I want to feel the warmth of his skin close to mine. And for the first time in a long time I feel _safe_. I felt complete.

_**Don't tell me where we're goin'  
I don't wanna know  
I like the mystery  
I can't believe we've come this far  
So far away from where we started off  
You found me when I wasn't lookin'  
You found me..**_

And now I'm lost inside your stare  
Lost when you're not there  
And everything I have  
Doesn't mean a thing if it's without you  
Without you..  
If it's a dream  
Don't wake me up  
I'll scream if this isn't love  
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you  
Yeah..  
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you  
Oh..  
If bein' lost means that I'm never gonna be without you..  
I wanna stay lost forever..  
I wanna stay lost forever  
..With you.

We are so close now and I love it. He lifts my face, looking into my eyes one more time before he kisses me. And to say that I feel fireworks exploding inside of me is an understatement. It's like we fit together; like we were made for each other. I don't know if it's because I haven't been kissed in a long time but this kiss makes my knees feel like Jell-O. If he keeps kissing me like this a little longer I'm going to end up hyperventilating. I feel tears running down my cheeks and when the moisture touches his hand he stops kissing me pulling away to look at me. I try really hard to stop the damn tears but I just can't hold it in any longer.

"Lee, I don't know what the future holds for us but it won't be much of a future for me if it's without you. I need you with me. Are you going to give me the chance to be in your life? To love and protect you? Please Leah, give me the opportunity to make you happy again. When I was a little kid I had this huge crush on you. Do you want to know what I used to love about you?"

"My beauty of course." We start to laugh like little kids but then he gets all serious again and he continues with his declaration.

"It was your smile Leah. It was like seeing the sun no matter how overcast the sky really was. Your smile makes my heart pound wildly and my knees weak. I would love to be the reason for your smile. I want to see that smile for the rest of my life."

"I didn't know you were so dense my almighty Alpha. But since we are in Cheesy-land I will tell you what I love about you Jake. I love your eyes because I can just look into them forever. I love your level of commitment to your loved ones. I love your 'never give up' attitude. The list is a lot longer but for now just shut up and kiss me please."

"As you wish my wolf girl"

I don't know what the future holds for us. But for the moment I'm happy. Right at this moment I'm complete. I am _me_ and it's perfect.


End file.
